I refuse to cry

Angsty.

There's something inside me that needs getting out, but I don't know what it is.

Maybe it's my frustrations catching up with me. Maybe it's my disappointments building up too fast for me to breathe. Maybe it's the fact that it's a brand new month, and still...

I can't do anything right.

I want to do lots of things --- blog like I used to (and on Misteryosa.com, at that), write 'till I tire my fingers out, read feel-good books to make me feel better, and most of all, make my family proud...something I haven't made them feel since I graduated top of my class in Nursery.

But maybe that's not gonna happen soon.

Times like this, I feel no one understands me. Heck, I can't even understand myself. And so I put up this cheerful facade, pretending everything's A-OK on my end, and saying the right things...things that wouldn't belie how extremely lonely I am inside.

I almost wish that my problems are lovelife-related, but they're not even close. They have something to do with love, sure, but I think that the love that's missing from my life is my love to myself.